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Signs of Poor Communication in Relationships

Posted on June 6, 2019 by Christoper Breuninger

Once we stop communicating, stop being affectionate and prevent having intercourse, we no more have a relationship. There are several partnerships which lack those three essential ingredients and so are still limping along to infinity, with two very unhappy individuals. Communication is not only verbal. It offers every message - feeling, desire and thought - we convey to your partner through eye contact, emotion or body gestures. The trick of communicating effectively is focusing on how in order to avoid the unhappy, harmful interactions.

Poor communicators have a tendency to compete with each other in discussions, at fault one another constantly to improve their egos also to find scapegoats. Everything is really a competition for them plus they are interested in being right than having an effective relationship. They perceive themselves to be all-knowing, never giving an inch to anyone, while consistently demanding their very own right of way. They're not centered on the partnership they share, only on the arguments, maintaining be secretive, self righteous and in denial, so conditions are always tense because they compete for control. It really is mainly about who 'wins' and who's 'right' or 'wrong', without the acknowledgement of the other's feelings or fears. To them, there's only ever a proven way to do or seeing things - their way. No-one, or any method, is ever valid or accepted.

Characteristics of poor communicators will be the following:

  • Criticism: They often have a reliable flow of criticism, put-downs or blame because of their partner. However the trouble with blame is that it keeps us centered on our partners to avoid us seeing, or accepting, our very own faults.
  • Defensiveness: Neither partner feels looked after or paid attention to. They're both too busy defending themselves in the abusive onslought and fighting to obtain their points in.
  • Denial of Discussion: They react to criticism with defensiveness, often denying everything - even discussion, making excuses and accusing their partner to be 'emotional', 'stupid', 'silly' or 'mad'.
  • Gift of Sanity: Poor communicators are often the people who claim to be 'sane' and 'reasonable' and 'caring'. They always feel put-upon and the victim.
  • Biased Perception: Individual perception is normally biased, distorted or contradictory. Addititionally there is apt to be plenty of exaggeration and anger rather than compromise.
  • Straying from the Isssue: They have a tendency to stray from the primary issue and discover no solutions, throwing all sorts of complaints and insults at their partner, but without targeting anything constructive.
  • Mind Reading: They have a tendency to 'mind read' and/or 'psychoanalyse' their partner excessively, along with name-call and show contempt by mocking, rolling their eyes, being insulting, counter-attacking and interrupting constantly.
  • Holding Out: There exists a determination by poor communicators never to 'give in', and then show they're right, with plenty of anger, and, eventually, deadly silence.
  • Stonewalling: Once the attacks get an excessive amount of, or if they hear something they don't like, there's apt to be no response. Instead poor communicators withdraw from the problem in a self-righteous way(stonewalling), preventing any type of discussion or resolution.